So, I just finished watching the movie "Blindness" (based off the book of the same name - which I have yet to read), and it really got me thinking about how I would react in a situation like that.
Here's the set up - people spontaneously go blind so the government throws around a hundred of them in an old sanitarium where they are basically left to fend for themselves. The situation rapidly deteriorates both in terms of sanitary/habitable conditions and moral fortitude. Just imagine, living blindly in fetid squalor with a hundred other people, vying for control of the insufficient amount of food they give you.
In the film, the inhabitants quickly lose their sense of morality and descend into a survival of the fittest mentality, with one of the 3 Wards (each having 30-40 people) assumes control of all the food because they are the strongest and have some weapons. At first, they take the other people's valuables in exchange for food, but once that runs out, they exchange food for women. (While the film wasn't phenomenal overall, I do think it did depict the horror and depravity of that scene quite compellingly).
My question here is this - in such an extreme situation, would people (or myself specifically) be able to retain their morality and (in essence) their humanity? Beyond the question of "would they be able to" there is the question "Should they/should they be expected to retain their morality", and why?
When it comes down to it, are we fundamentally any different from animals?
After watching "Blindness" and reading Cormac McCarthy's "The Road", I'm confronted by the bleakness of humanity and how quickly people are ready to devolve into an animalistic state. Of course, both present not only the bleakness of humanity, but also those who weather the storm so to speak and retain the essence of the human-spirit. But in those books/film, those who are willing to fight for their humanity are so few and far between.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
New month madness
Listening - Agalloch, Anathema, mewithoutyou
Reading - Bryant, Emerson, Thoreau July is less than 12 hours away. The first 1/3rd of the summer gone. And what did I do? Not a whole lot. Lived like a hermit. Did some biking. Failed to maintain a steady workout routine. Did shitty in my Math 143 class.
I'm out of booze and down to 1 Xanax. Luckily, I'll be 21 soon and not have to ask people to buy for me. Also, I'm definitely planning on buying some Tommy Gun Vodka. It comes in a glass tommy-gun bottle. Be jealous.
I realize that I don't hate the Romantics as much as I thought I did. I'm a big fan of W. C. Bryant's "Thanatopsis". Something about Annihilationism does seem quite appealing. But maybe I've just been listening to too much doom metal.
Last night I dreamt of a place deep down where I could find peace
Come to me oblivion
("Dreaming of Oblivion" - Rapture)
Also, when reading the Romantics and how in touch with nature they were and how they saw God in nature, all I could think of was the line from Agalloch's "In the Shadow of Our Pale Companion"
Here at the edge of this world
Here I gaze at a pantheon of oak, a citadel of stone
If this grand panorama before me is what you call God. . .
Then God is not dead
Monday, June 29, 2009
Lunch of a King
Today, I cooked myself an altogether fabulous lunch - homemade burgers.
I took about a pound or so of ground-beef (enough for 4 decent size patties), threw it in a bowl and proceeded to mix in: a goodly amount of barbeque sauce, a spray of ketchup, a dab of mayonnaise, and a handful of shredded cheese. Mash that all together, and slapped the four patties into a skillet (sadly, I do not own a grill).
While that was cooking, I tossed in a helping of french fries into the oven and cooked those right up.
15 minutes later, I was eating my meal. Sadly, two burgers mostly fell apart and the other two were splitting apart (possibly a failing of the type of beef I used, possibly I just didn't mix the patties well), but overall it was still delicious. Ooh, I also added some cheese, ketchup, and lettuce to the burgers and served them on whole-wheat buns and had some baby-pickles on the side.
I took about a pound or so of ground-beef (enough for 4 decent size patties), threw it in a bowl and proceeded to mix in: a goodly amount of barbeque sauce, a spray of ketchup, a dab of mayonnaise, and a handful of shredded cheese. Mash that all together, and slapped the four patties into a skillet (sadly, I do not own a grill).
While that was cooking, I tossed in a helping of french fries into the oven and cooked those right up.
15 minutes later, I was eating my meal. Sadly, two burgers mostly fell apart and the other two were splitting apart (possibly a failing of the type of beef I used, possibly I just didn't mix the patties well), but overall it was still delicious. Ooh, I also added some cheese, ketchup, and lettuce to the burgers and served them on whole-wheat buns and had some baby-pickles on the side.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Breakfast of Champions!
In my effort to live as a functional human and not a degenerate troglodyte, I've decided that eating breakfast should be a part of my daily routine. And today's breakfast kicked ass.
I started by whipping up three delicious strips of bacon. These suckers were big also. I cooked them to that perfect medium - not too crispy, not underdone. Then, I set those aside and proceeded to cook 4 eggs in bacon grease coated skillet. Best decision of my life because it really zazzed up the taste, adding a hint of bacon-y goodness. Threw a bunch of cheese, salt, and pepper on those guys and sat down to enjoy my feast. 4 eggs, 3 strips of bacon, 2 glasses of Orange Juice...the only thing I forgot was to add a little toast, but man, I'm stuffed. Wish I had taken a picture of it all.
I started by whipping up three delicious strips of bacon. These suckers were big also. I cooked them to that perfect medium - not too crispy, not underdone. Then, I set those aside and proceeded to cook 4 eggs in bacon grease coated skillet. Best decision of my life because it really zazzed up the taste, adding a hint of bacon-y goodness. Threw a bunch of cheese, salt, and pepper on those guys and sat down to enjoy my feast. 4 eggs, 3 strips of bacon, 2 glasses of Orange Juice...the only thing I forgot was to add a little toast, but man, I'm stuffed. Wish I had taken a picture of it all.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Why I do this (an apologetic)
I think it is a legitimate question to ask why people blog. For some people they are simply, "OMG, i luv 2 blog, rite?!!!" Others are more like, "I have an opinion to share, and I want whoever out there to know."
For me, this blog is all about keeping me sane. It's about reminding myself that there is a part of me that cares and thinks deeply. Often times, I think/worry that people just see one side of me - namely, the alcoholic, vodka-drinking, fun loving irresponsible side of me, and they think that is all there is to me. And yes, it is easy to judge me. I love booze; I love to show up to parties already drunk and then proceed to drink even more. But the thing is...it is so easy for someone to see the "negative" side of me. But it is a lot harder for someone to take the time to get to know me and really find out what I think and my beliefs/values. It is easy for someone to sit back and watch me get hammered and feel superior to me (even though they are probably drunk themselves), but it is harder for someone to come up and talk to me about serious issues. Like child abuse (which I've seen first hand in Ukraine). Or human trafficking (which I know someone who went through that). Or so on.
And the thing is, I don't expect people to ask those questions. Honestly, I really don't want just anybody asking me about those things. I affect a very measured and cultured persona for most of my existence. That of a drunk, un-caring cad. Because the thing is...I really don't give a shit what most of the world thinks. I know that there are a few really close friends of mine that can attest to the fact that I am more than I appear.
Because, in all honesty, that cultured, affected persona of a sleazy, drunken cad is part of my way with dealing with all of what I've seen. I'm not saying my life has been so terribly hard, but I've lost a number of people in my life, and I try to support those people who are hurting and broken. I was in Forensics (public speech competition) for my 4 years of high school, and the running joke was that Comedy was easier to perform than Tragedy. And in real life, that is true. It is easier to be the laid-back joker of the group than the brooding, introspective poet. Everyone accepts the Former because he makes their lives fun/comfortable. The Latter simply is a party-downer.
So, that is my apologetic defense of my behavior. In no way does that justify my actions - simply gives an explanation for them. Sometimes, you have to laugh and view life and absurd, otherwise you'll cry and break down at just how hopeless it all is.
For me, this blog is all about keeping me sane. It's about reminding myself that there is a part of me that cares and thinks deeply. Often times, I think/worry that people just see one side of me - namely, the alcoholic, vodka-drinking, fun loving irresponsible side of me, and they think that is all there is to me. And yes, it is easy to judge me. I love booze; I love to show up to parties already drunk and then proceed to drink even more. But the thing is...it is so easy for someone to see the "negative" side of me. But it is a lot harder for someone to take the time to get to know me and really find out what I think and my beliefs/values. It is easy for someone to sit back and watch me get hammered and feel superior to me (even though they are probably drunk themselves), but it is harder for someone to come up and talk to me about serious issues. Like child abuse (which I've seen first hand in Ukraine). Or human trafficking (which I know someone who went through that). Or so on.
And the thing is, I don't expect people to ask those questions. Honestly, I really don't want just anybody asking me about those things. I affect a very measured and cultured persona for most of my existence. That of a drunk, un-caring cad. Because the thing is...I really don't give a shit what most of the world thinks. I know that there are a few really close friends of mine that can attest to the fact that I am more than I appear.
Because, in all honesty, that cultured, affected persona of a sleazy, drunken cad is part of my way with dealing with all of what I've seen. I'm not saying my life has been so terribly hard, but I've lost a number of people in my life, and I try to support those people who are hurting and broken. I was in Forensics (public speech competition) for my 4 years of high school, and the running joke was that Comedy was easier to perform than Tragedy. And in real life, that is true. It is easier to be the laid-back joker of the group than the brooding, introspective poet. Everyone accepts the Former because he makes their lives fun/comfortable. The Latter simply is a party-downer.
So, that is my apologetic defense of my behavior. In no way does that justify my actions - simply gives an explanation for them. Sometimes, you have to laugh and view life and absurd, otherwise you'll cry and break down at just how hopeless it all is.
Friday, June 26, 2009
There's no music on the radio
Wow, another post. I seem to be a veritable treasure trove of commentary and opinion as of recently. Hopefully this outpouring of writing will translate into me writing something original, instead of just responding to the work of other artists...but until that happens.
I was trolling around Youtube today, and I decided to reconnect with a band I was into last summer - Client. I looked up their song "Radio" because I remember hearing it at our host's house when in Praha, and the video really made me reflect about some of the things I saw while in East/Central Europe.
The song itself is pretty catchy, but turns into something more meaningful when linked with the music video. The video shows the two members of Client in a house, listening to the radio and watching outside as soldiers destroy the city. For me, this really brought back the images of destruction that I saw when in Croatia and Bosnia. Bullet holes still in buildings a decade after the war. Minefields still not cleared out. Ruins where buildings should be.
Now, I am not anti-war by any means, but remembering the destruction I saw and listening to the lyrics really drove home the fact that even though wars can be fought for perfectly legitimate means, living people are caught in the middle. Families get shattered. Years of work undone in a single day. Children grow up scarred (both literally and metaphorically).
The one line that really stands out to me in the song is
The call it news - it's not to me...
To the average American, war is something distant and removed. Something to be watched at 6 o'clock on CNN. Just a picture of a far away country and a statistic of the dead. But to a lot of people, war isn't news - it's happened/happening in their back yard.
I was trolling around Youtube today, and I decided to reconnect with a band I was into last summer - Client. I looked up their song "Radio" because I remember hearing it at our host's house when in Praha, and the video really made me reflect about some of the things I saw while in East/Central Europe.
The song itself is pretty catchy, but turns into something more meaningful when linked with the music video. The video shows the two members of Client in a house, listening to the radio and watching outside as soldiers destroy the city. For me, this really brought back the images of destruction that I saw when in Croatia and Bosnia. Bullet holes still in buildings a decade after the war. Minefields still not cleared out. Ruins where buildings should be.
Now, I am not anti-war by any means, but remembering the destruction I saw and listening to the lyrics really drove home the fact that even though wars can be fought for perfectly legitimate means, living people are caught in the middle. Families get shattered. Years of work undone in a single day. Children grow up scarred (both literally and metaphorically).
The one line that really stands out to me in the song is
The call it news - it's not to me...
To the average American, war is something distant and removed. Something to be watched at 6 o'clock on CNN. Just a picture of a far away country and a statistic of the dead. But to a lot of people, war isn't news - it's happened/happening in their back yard.
Burning the complacency
Remember our worlds much younger
focused on the goal and not the risks
More years go by and the less we notice
living in fear of any consequence
What is compromised?
Settling for security
"It could be worse" as life's philosophy means
that nothing will be any better
Trading ambition and our own confidence
This first verse of the song "Calendar Year" by the (now defunct) band Haste is so true, it is painful. I remember growing up, the world was mine for the taking. I'd dream about what I would want to be when I grew up or what I wanted to do, and there was nothing to stop me from dreaming. But the older I grow, the more I become hesitant and compromise my dreams for security. It's a failing of character that has to change. I need to get back to that simpler time when I was focused on the end destination and not the hardships that line the way.
No fear of living beyond the lines
A revolution against apathy
I will decide what progress means to me
These rules that bind me
I will change...ignite this spark into a flame
I think a "revolution against apathy" (and complacency) is really what I need. Part of me wishes that I could burn most of what I own and wander freely, and while I don't think I will ever do anything that extreme, I do plan on traveling a lot once I graduate, and hopefully greatly reducing the amount of my possessions. The Australian natives do what they call a "Walkabout" which is essentially a journey/a rite of passage undertaken wherein a person wanders through the wilderness and only stops to occasionally work or help others out.
In the modern West, we seem to have lost the idea of a rite of passage. There is no traditional/symbolic way for an individual to discover himself or come into his own anymore, and I would argue from a personal standpoint that some kind of rite of passage, a symbolic "growing into one's self" would probably have done me a world of good.
One day, I hope to throw off the chains society has imposed on me and fully decide for myself what is truly of worth and value.
We walk the trail,
Crossing over a bridge,
When we saw the beauty that we could be.
focused on the goal and not the risks
More years go by and the less we notice
living in fear of any consequence
What is compromised?
Settling for security
"It could be worse" as life's philosophy means
that nothing will be any better
Trading ambition and our own confidence
This first verse of the song "Calendar Year" by the (now defunct) band Haste is so true, it is painful. I remember growing up, the world was mine for the taking. I'd dream about what I would want to be when I grew up or what I wanted to do, and there was nothing to stop me from dreaming. But the older I grow, the more I become hesitant and compromise my dreams for security. It's a failing of character that has to change. I need to get back to that simpler time when I was focused on the end destination and not the hardships that line the way.
No fear of living beyond the lines
A revolution against apathy
I will decide what progress means to me
These rules that bind me
I will change...ignite this spark into a flame
I think a "revolution against apathy" (and complacency) is really what I need. Part of me wishes that I could burn most of what I own and wander freely, and while I don't think I will ever do anything that extreme, I do plan on traveling a lot once I graduate, and hopefully greatly reducing the amount of my possessions. The Australian natives do what they call a "Walkabout" which is essentially a journey/a rite of passage undertaken wherein a person wanders through the wilderness and only stops to occasionally work or help others out.
In the modern West, we seem to have lost the idea of a rite of passage. There is no traditional/symbolic way for an individual to discover himself or come into his own anymore, and I would argue from a personal standpoint that some kind of rite of passage, a symbolic "growing into one's self" would probably have done me a world of good.
One day, I hope to throw off the chains society has imposed on me and fully decide for myself what is truly of worth and value.
We walk the trail,
Crossing over a bridge,
When we saw the beauty that we could be.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
In which I learn to realize my positive traits...
A friend of mine was killed last week. I met her when I was about 12, and then re-met her when I was....19? Paige Riley. Killed (along with two friends) by a drunk driver. It is so....fucked up (pardon the lack of eloquence) because she had been living in South Carolina for a couple of months and wanted to visit the Fox Cities again. She was so excited to go back home and reconnect with everyone. And the night she arrives, she is killed. She had just turned 20 a month ago, and it seemed like she was really falling in love with life and following her goals.
I often think about death and life's mortality, and I always wonder what my impact will be on the world. How will I be remembered after I am gone? I tend to be hyper-critical of myself and get so hung up on my myriad of vices, flaws, and shortcomings that I often forget or ignore any redeemable/good qualities that I actually possess. However, something a friend wrote the other day really inspired me, "You refuse to accept life as anything except for what it is..." and I think that is pretty true. I try my hardest to be very down to earth and to peel off the many facades and masks that we try to put on life.
I guess that is related to something a friend of mine said on the Hungary semester. A small group of us (four or five) were hanging out one night, and after drinking and dancing, we were sitting on the beds in my room, and we went around and said what we really liked about the others. And when it came to me, someone remarked that I inspired her because I didn't always freak about the minor details (and sometimes major details) like a lot of people on the trip - I was always the one saying, "Well, let's just see what happens."
I hope I can always retain this attitude. I spent a large chunk of my soon to be 21 years on this earth worrying about how to live my life, and it is only recently that I've started to really live at all. I'm not even close to where I want to be, but at least I'm finally making progress.
* * *
There are twenty years to go.
A golden age I know.
But all will pass, will end to fast, you know.
There are twenty years to go,
And many friends I hope.
Though some may hold the rose some hold the rope.
"Twenty Years" - Placebo
I often think about death and life's mortality, and I always wonder what my impact will be on the world. How will I be remembered after I am gone? I tend to be hyper-critical of myself and get so hung up on my myriad of vices, flaws, and shortcomings that I often forget or ignore any redeemable/good qualities that I actually possess. However, something a friend wrote the other day really inspired me, "You refuse to accept life as anything except for what it is..." and I think that is pretty true. I try my hardest to be very down to earth and to peel off the many facades and masks that we try to put on life.
I guess that is related to something a friend of mine said on the Hungary semester. A small group of us (four or five) were hanging out one night, and after drinking and dancing, we were sitting on the beds in my room, and we went around and said what we really liked about the others. And when it came to me, someone remarked that I inspired her because I didn't always freak about the minor details (and sometimes major details) like a lot of people on the trip - I was always the one saying, "Well, let's just see what happens."
I hope I can always retain this attitude. I spent a large chunk of my soon to be 21 years on this earth worrying about how to live my life, and it is only recently that I've started to really live at all. I'm not even close to where I want to be, but at least I'm finally making progress.
* * *
There are twenty years to go.
A golden age I know.
But all will pass, will end to fast, you know.
There are twenty years to go,
And many friends I hope.
Though some may hold the rose some hold the rope.
"Twenty Years" - Placebo
A new look
I decided to spruce up my site a little bit. Much as I enjoyed the doom metal inspired theme, it seemed a bit somber and melancholic, and while that was (still is, and probably will always be) a part of me, it is no longer (I would argue) my defining nature. So, I opted for a more relaxed, carefree look.
The picture at the top of the page is from Jeph Jacques' webcomic "Questionable Content" (www.questionablecontent.net). Hopefully I am not infringing on any copyrighted material. But given as a grand total of about 3 people know about this blog, I think I am relatively safe from any legal ramifications.
Listened all the way through both "Monotheist" and "Ki". While I don't think "Ki" is as good overall as Devin Townsend Band's "Synchestra", I think that individually some of the tracks are tons better (specifically "Terminal", "Ki", and "Lady Helen"). Definitely reminiscent of Porcupine Tree with a splash of Mogwai
* * *
From the post above (since I didn't think it fit too well)
Another post. It is nice to have an outlet like writing. And it is nice to be stimulated to write. I've spent the first month of summer alone in this house, and as time passes, I've been feeling more and more caged, restless and dissatisfied. Finally, all that pent up energy is manifesting itself in the desire to write. It has been arduous and slow so far, but even 400 words is better than a blank page. The ideas are there, I just need to put them to the page.
I've been biking regularly, which is a good thing. I'm thinking I'll go to Reed's Lake tomorrow and do some reading and maybe some writing. Or maybe just sit and enjoy a beautiful summer day. The gym schedule is still a bit erratic, but I do go a couple of times a week. I just have to learn to really push myself (both physically and mentally) because I don't think it is anybody else's job to do that for me.
The picture at the top of the page is from Jeph Jacques' webcomic "Questionable Content" (www.questionablecontent.net). Hopefully I am not infringing on any copyrighted material. But given as a grand total of about 3 people know about this blog, I think I am relatively safe from any legal ramifications.
Listened all the way through both "Monotheist" and "Ki". While I don't think "Ki" is as good overall as Devin Townsend Band's "Synchestra", I think that individually some of the tracks are tons better (specifically "Terminal", "Ki", and "Lady Helen"). Definitely reminiscent of Porcupine Tree with a splash of Mogwai
* * *
From the post above (since I didn't think it fit too well)
Another post. It is nice to have an outlet like writing. And it is nice to be stimulated to write. I've spent the first month of summer alone in this house, and as time passes, I've been feeling more and more caged, restless and dissatisfied. Finally, all that pent up energy is manifesting itself in the desire to write. It has been arduous and slow so far, but even 400 words is better than a blank page. The ideas are there, I just need to put them to the page.
I've been biking regularly, which is a good thing. I'm thinking I'll go to Reed's Lake tomorrow and do some reading and maybe some writing. Or maybe just sit and enjoy a beautiful summer day. The gym schedule is still a bit erratic, but I do go a couple of times a week. I just have to learn to really push myself (both physically and mentally) because I don't think it is anybody else's job to do that for me.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
New music
Today was my last day of Math-143, so I spent a large chunk of it biking around in the near 90 degree heat wearing a black button up shirt and a vest. I looked classy for about 2 minutes, and then I developed a sheen of sweat across my entire body.
Still, I made it downtown to visit Rachelle at her work - the newly opened Parselys, a Mediterranean grille. And it was super delicious. And not wildly expensive.
Whilst waiting for Rachelle to get done with her shift, I jaunted on over to Vertigo and picked up Celtic Frost's "Monotheist" and Devin Townsend's "Ki". Two albums that could not be more different.
Celtic Frost is a mix of black and doom (with perhaps a dash of thrash in there) metal. Dark in an oppressive, rage filled way. Lyrically, it is mostly Satanic (Celtic Frost is one of the metal bands that I listen to that actually does fit the stereotype of metalheads being Satanists), but musically it is pretty good. "A Dying God Coming Into Human Flesh" is by far the strongest track on the album, but from the tracks I've listened to (so far about the first 5), there hasn't been a bad one.
Devin Townsend's "Ki", on the other hand, is subdued prog. rock with splashes of metal aggression. So far, it seems as though it is best when it is restrained/soft with the metal parts being kind of "meh" (although I've only listened to the first 6 or so tracks). Lyrically, it seems to be a rather personal/introspective album about Devin's quitting drugs, growing up, and finding direction in life. I was sold by the 1:43 opener "A Monday", and while the next few tracks didn't blow my mind, they were definitely solid.
Reading through the lyrics, I'm impressed at Devin's subtle, yet moving, way of phrasing. The man is quite possibly one of the best musicians out there right now.
Days alone, never felt like this
The lights of home, a year away
And it's too late to fight it all, just drive.
And the streets...glow...and the night...
The night is soft
So we fall on warm silence
I know we all go away.
Still, I made it downtown to visit Rachelle at her work - the newly opened Parselys, a Mediterranean grille. And it was super delicious. And not wildly expensive.
Whilst waiting for Rachelle to get done with her shift, I jaunted on over to Vertigo and picked up Celtic Frost's "Monotheist" and Devin Townsend's "Ki". Two albums that could not be more different.
Celtic Frost is a mix of black and doom (with perhaps a dash of thrash in there) metal. Dark in an oppressive, rage filled way. Lyrically, it is mostly Satanic (Celtic Frost is one of the metal bands that I listen to that actually does fit the stereotype of metalheads being Satanists), but musically it is pretty good. "A Dying God Coming Into Human Flesh" is by far the strongest track on the album, but from the tracks I've listened to (so far about the first 5), there hasn't been a bad one.
Devin Townsend's "Ki", on the other hand, is subdued prog. rock with splashes of metal aggression. So far, it seems as though it is best when it is restrained/soft with the metal parts being kind of "meh" (although I've only listened to the first 6 or so tracks). Lyrically, it seems to be a rather personal/introspective album about Devin's quitting drugs, growing up, and finding direction in life. I was sold by the 1:43 opener "A Monday", and while the next few tracks didn't blow my mind, they were definitely solid.
Reading through the lyrics, I'm impressed at Devin's subtle, yet moving, way of phrasing. The man is quite possibly one of the best musicians out there right now.
Days alone, never felt like this
The lights of home, a year away
And it's too late to fight it all, just drive.
And the streets...glow...and the night...
The night is soft
So we fall on warm silence
I know we all go away.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Out of a Center Which is Neither Dead Nor Alive
I'm trying to become less a troglodyte. I actually went out to the store and bought real food the other day!! I also went on an hour long bike ride. I would have gone on longer, but there was so much shit (white cottony stuff floating through the air) that my eyes were burning and I was having a hard time breathing, so that sucked. Still, it was good to get out. I've got to start making a bike ride part of my daily routine.
Speaking of which, I really need to get a good daily routine going otherwise I'm going to end up sitting in my room all day after class watching movies and playing video games. Which is a lame way to spend my life.
I think that the next tattoo I get (other than the Brother tat I'm getting with BrotherJohn) will be "Hope, progress, and growth spring from the crypt of realized fallacies." I really like that phrase (it comes from the Minsk song "Bloodletting and Forgetting"), and one thing I've always tried to do with my life is know my faults. I suppose I need to work harder on changing and controlling my faults/vices, but in the words of GI Joe - Knowing is half the battle.
Hope, progress, and growth spring from the crypt of realized fallacies.
Living through death.
Learning to love.
Embracing discontent.
Face down.
Bloodletting and forgetting.
Exorcising demons.
Exercising futility.
Speaking of which, I really need to get a good daily routine going otherwise I'm going to end up sitting in my room all day after class watching movies and playing video games. Which is a lame way to spend my life.
I think that the next tattoo I get (other than the Brother tat I'm getting with BrotherJohn) will be "Hope, progress, and growth spring from the crypt of realized fallacies." I really like that phrase (it comes from the Minsk song "Bloodletting and Forgetting"), and one thing I've always tried to do with my life is know my faults. I suppose I need to work harder on changing and controlling my faults/vices, but in the words of GI Joe - Knowing is half the battle.
Hope, progress, and growth spring from the crypt of realized fallacies.
Living through death.
Learning to love.
Embracing discontent.
Face down.
Bloodletting and forgetting.
Exorcising demons.
Exercising futility.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
There is nothing you can do that I have not already done to myself!!!
Stealing booze from a friend's wedding is a new low, even for me...but that didn't stop me. A bottle + 1/4 of Honey Mead later, I'm feeling good. Ahh....alcoholism, do you know no end?
I'm remembering all the times when I felt that I was infinite and life was full of endless possibilities. I wish I could get that naivety back.
Why is that Mewithoutyou can almost fully express my feelings through song lyrics? "I'm not the boy I was / but I'm not that man I'll be!"
I just have to snap out of this slump, really soon, otherwise I might break down.
I'm remembering all the times when I felt that I was infinite and life was full of endless possibilities. I wish I could get that naivety back.
Why is that Mewithoutyou can almost fully express my feelings through song lyrics? "I'm not the boy I was / but I'm not that man I'll be!"
I just have to snap out of this slump, really soon, otherwise I might break down.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Just a smalltown girl....
Holy shit...Ryan Murphy can have my children. All of them. "Glee" is quite possibly the best new show to hit the airwaves since....since a long while. It has the underdog appeal that "Mean Girls" had, the witty/sharp dialogue of "Nip/Tuck", and the universal appeal of any coming of age story.
I'm watching their version of "Don't Stop Believing" on repeat. It just stirs my soul.
Other than that, I'm drinking some decent sweet-ish red wine, not doing my homework, not studying for my exam, and examining my life.
I'm watching their version of "Don't Stop Believing" on repeat. It just stirs my soul.
Other than that, I'm drinking some decent sweet-ish red wine, not doing my homework, not studying for my exam, and examining my life.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
A look at the summer
June 25 - Dropkick Murphys (The Orbit Room)
July 10 - Lacuna Coil / Kill Hannah /Seventh Void (The Intersection)
July 12 - The Veronicas (The Intersection)
July 10 - Lacuna Coil / Kill Hannah /Seventh Void (The Intersection)
July 12 - The Veronicas (The Intersection)
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