Energy (is you)

I have a problem.

Tuesday nights, I have my Senior Sem class. And normally, I am pretty tired. But alwaysalwaysAlways during the last 45 minutes of class, a nervous energy overtakes me. Almost hysterical. I can't focus, it is hard to think, even speak. Shaking. The desire to explode with energy. To slam my fist down on the table and yell. To let go completely.

I always want to write afterwards, but it is difficult. Spelling goes out the window, my fingers are sluggish...can't keep up with the furious pace I neeeed to write at. Logic, thinking, coherency go right out the window. I am a wreck. Every idea is a possibility.
I mostly just want to hurl a can of paint at the wall, a blank canvas, and have all my ideas at once. Instead, I must write, word by word, line by line, linearly. In order. What if I don't want order? What if I am the Underground Man? What if I want to write in 3 dimensions, rather than in two?
An architect of reality.


* * *

Listening to the White Tie Affair's new single - "You Look Better When I'm Drunk"


A little less thinkin' and a lot more drinkin' -
That'll work for me tonight, oh, oh
When the room starts spinnin' and we start sinnin',
I begin to realize-

You look better when I'm drunk,
You look better when I'm drunk,


Heyyyy DJ spin the soundtrack to bad decisions
And these drinks, make me, lose my self control,
Heyyyy DJ spin the soundtrack to bad decisions
And these drinks, make me, lose control,


New party anthem.

Drinking gin to calm the nerves. Time to focus on something else. Freaking the hell out.