Boom (weekend recap)

I just finished up the audio book for Max Brooks' "World War Z" when it busts into some hammering guitar and drums...MDFMK, the kind of music that make you want to get into a shootout. Just thumping industrial ultra-heavy beat.

So, this weekend was very good. My friend KasieJ came up(over) from Wisconsin to visit. Friday night, we went out to dinner - me and her, al and her friend - to Grand Rapids Brewing Co. (after 2 failed attempts at other places). We all had a brew, I barely ate. It was windy as all hell.
(I'm not sure why I feel it important to record these minute details that will fade from my memory in a week or so...maybe it is because of my finite memory that I commit these details to writing)
I dropped Al off back at the house, drove to Cornerstone. We hungout in the Corum Student Center until 12.30am - Kasie, Rachel, Kara, Kyle, and myself.

Saturday - Lunch with Kasie at Panera Bread. Finally drop the bomb, "so, maybe I am sort of seeing someone" (I've always been terrible at being decisive/unawkward). She is happy for me. We talk about that for a while. Go to Rachel's showcase. It was fantastic - she had a monologue about the underwear incident in Sophomore year.

Afterwards, Kasie, JessieJ, and I are going to get icecream. We stop and pick up my lady friend. IceCream, JessieJ's house, Wii dance games, Emperor's New Groove, MacNcheese...I had to drive her home, but when I came back, I smiled because my friends really liked her. Not in the insincere way as was the case with previous relationships.
In fact, "She is sweeter than I thought she would be." Me, "What does that mean." Nothing, just the fact that they (and maybe me also) all imagined me dating a trashy skank or something.
But she isn't. In fact, she makes me sleep on the couch (after a friend's birthday party and a late night of 30 Rock)...which is the cause for the current state of my back - gnarled and painful. I need a chiropractor, asap. But the house cat finally cuddled up with me.

The lyrics from a Houston Calls song


She seems like someone who'll be there for me
I'm loving that stability
She has a curious and uncanny charm
that really attracts me.

and something inside of me screams

First of all I'm insecure
And number two, I can't be there for you
Not at this time in my life

But that secondary voice is growing weaker. I've always struggled with commitment, but mostly because I was afraid of the unknown.
What if it doesn't work out?
What if my heart is broken?

I'm finally learning that...sometimes things are awesome. And maybe they won't work out. But maybe they will. I'm not going to torpedo them because I don't know the outcome.