Existentialism

I used to always think that my mood swings were not related to anything, striking at random. Maybe they are. But I've noticed that whenever I have a great weekend, I have a fairly shitty week. Maybe I spend all my energy interacting with people, I'm too drained to focus on the week.
Well, I had an amazing weekend, and now I am pensive...

The rain helps also. It is a sad rain. A rain for reflection.
(Some rains are meant to be ran into. To be danced in.)
This rain is the kind of rain the forces you to break out your reserve bottle of Old Grand-dad 114 whiskey and to sip it slowly. The drink isn't there to get you drunk...no, it is just a companion to help you think.

I'm not unhappy, just trepidatious (though that word is too strong). I am pondering the future. The past. The now.
I'm searching for contentment (but even that isn't the right phrasing).

This is what I want/what sums up my mood - I just want to drive out into the countryside, lie down in a field with you next to me, hold hands, and watch the stars.

(that's the kind of mood I'm in. The one where I need contented silence and beauty.)

Close your eyes and watch the stars explode...