Prayers

I guess I don't pray very much anymore. And when I do pray, I often pray for inconsequential things like a zombie attack or the appearance of vampires. Something selfish.

But when I pray for real, I pray for peace. Peace for Baby Mamu and other abandoned children like him. Peace for people like Paige, who people would say she is going to Hell because she died not believing in their concept of God. That kind of peace.

I realize that I can come off as abrasive and uncaring at times, always wanting some new shit/excitement to go down. Honestly, I'd trade all my personal hopes and aspirations if the world would know a few months of genuine peace. Even a few days.

But that isn't going to happen. So it is up to me to go out and make a difference.



I think one of my problems in getting motivated in life is that I would listen to all these "special speakers" growing up at church or school or whathaveyou, who made it seem like I had the ability to perform miracles or change the world in powerful ways. To lead a new revival. To convert millions of souls.
But the thing is, as I've grown older, I realize, that is not going to happen. I mean, conceivably, it could, but it isn't. So rather than telling all kinds of hopeful, impressionable kids that they are going to accumulate all kinds of fame and miraculous powers, speakers should tell these kids that even if they live a pretty shitty life but end up making one child genuinely smile and feel hope...then they've changed the world.

Because really, that's all I hope for anymore. That I will make someone smile or ease someone's pain, if only for an hour. And even though it isn't the same and saving the world, it is still perhaps the most important thing that needs to be done.