Itinerent

"A Little Death makes Life more Meaningful."

I heard this phrase from a song and from and old roommate. And to me, it makes a lot of sense. All four of my grandparents are dead...even just writing that is hard, but it is true. The two I knew best died almost exactly a year apart from one another. And death really does make things more meaningful. I can still remember...both times, I was in a play at school. I got off from rehearsal to go the funeral. It was a bittersweet time - hearing about the times of their lives that I hadn't heard.....but skipping school for a death? I never cried out in front of anyone over the loss of my grandparents. I told my girlfriend of the time about this...she consoled me somehow, and though she and I aren't together anymore, I will say that in my darkest moments (my grandfather's death, a friend's suicide attempt, etc...,) she was there. If I learned anything from that relationship, it is to always be there for the people you care about.

"The Past is only the Future with the Lights On"

I've made a lot of mistakes in my time here on Earth. I avoid friends when they need me most, I manipulate peoples' emotions, I lie to get my way....but despite all of that, I know that people still care about me. I can be the best friend ever...but I can also be the worst. In spite of knowing that, there are people who stand by me through the worst of times. I can be a shitty person, I realize, but I hope that those people who have meant so much to me over the years will somehow feel that I can never thank them enough for what they have done for me. Love always,

-P