Building off the last one

The last post was getting a bit long, so I thought I'd make a new one. Stream of consciousness right now. The need to write is burning in me, and this is blog helps with that.

After a glorious day, I'm ending it with a glass of Pinot Noir. A couple candles flicker in my dark room. The gentle noise of the rain melds with the soft melody of Lights' "Drive My Soul".


When we were driving in the countryside, we saw a middle-aged yuppie cycling. For the next 10 minutes, my housemate and I hypothesized about what his existence was like. The upper-middle class American "dream". A big house, a wife, 3 kids, success at his job. Ultimately empty on the inside. No real life anymore. A slow decay. A carefully crafted facade that is only skin deep. A sickening slide into mediocrity.

I never want that.

A part of me is scared to death about graduating college. I've been in school for roughly 16 years. It is pretty much all I know. I don't really know what I'll be doing after college. I have a few vague ideas, but everything is so transitory and uncertain.

But here is one thing I will believe until my dying day. As long as you surround yourself with good friends, it really doesn't matter what you do. Of course, you should still try to follow your dreams, but it is important to realize that people are really what life is about. Relationships. Friendships. Something our American mindset doesn't really stress anymore. The American Dream is all about being successful. A narrow definition of what success is. The corner office. A trophy wife. 2.5 kids. A big house in the suburbs. Surrounded by people just like you. Vapid, empty, meaningless. The never ending shuffle of promotions, cocktail parties, mortgages, acquiring newerfancierbetter things than the Jonses.

Song lyrics are meaningful to me. And I think that the song "Calendar Year" by Haste (now defunct, sadly) is especially moving.
And indictment of our empty culture that values "Security" over Risk. That defines what Progress is. Draws lines in which you have to live your life and abide by.


Remember our worlds much younger
focused on the goal and not the risks
More years go by and the less we notice
living in fear of any consequence
What is compromised?
Settling for security
"It could be worse" as life's philosophy means
that nothing will be any better
Trading ambition and our own confidence

I will not be measured by days
Bound for nothing
I will decide my own fate
Our expectations match the sky
but our reservations block the light
Here it comes again

First to the punch
they will decide limitations by which to abide
Define achievements by whose standards
No fear of living beyond the lines
A revolution against apathy
I will decide what progress means to me
These rules that bind me
I will change...ignite this spark into a flame