so

this is the problem with sleeping until 1.30, and then napping for 4 hours until 10.30pm. I am awake when I should be sleeping. I'm too awake to sleep, too tired to do any actual work. So, instead, I'm listening to Kill Hannah and being melancholy.

(turn up the radio, I need it more than ever now)

and I feel like a total jackass sitting here in my room being all mopey, especially since I have no real reason to feel this way. there is no pressing reason I should be sad, in fact, I should be pretty happy, but I'm not. Bleh...

(we were living in a broken world)

I guess I always go through a bit of withdrawal after having a good night, and last night was good. There is something great when an impromptu party happens at your house. I was sick and thinking about turning in early when a bunch of friends showed up. And we stayed up late and drank waaaay too much wine. And we just enjoyed each others company.

(it's hard just to breathe, when we said goodbye)

And then the night ends, and you wake up the next morning, memories of good times, but knowing your day can never live up to the previous one. So you end up lazing around and moping all day. And in the solitude, you start thinking about the past and what could have been, and that is always a dangerous road to travel down.

(I must have my grandma's sad eyes)

Anyway, I at least have to try to sleep. And I have to realize that there are people who are actually suffering. And I have to always try to be there for people and not be so self-centered.

"Universe, wrap your arms around me. Make me strong, so I can take on anyone."