Love is a many splintered thing

So, I am sitting at home alone, slightly buzzed (not drunk, mind you) reflecting on my past relationships and all I can say is - Goddamn, how did I end up with the worst people possible for me? I mean, granted, I grew a lot due to the experience, but srsly? WTF?!?! One dumps my ass after Pro-Life camp indoctrinated her with this bullshit view of humanity, and the other one dumped me 3 days after I finally grew the balls to tell her that I love her.
Those are the only girls I've really dated (besides an 8th grade relationship which I don't think counts although it was for 10 months).
So like, yes, I take my time and it takes me a while to figure shit out, but it seems that once I get my act together, chicks are all like, "Fuuuuck you, I'm gonna tear your heart out." Maybe it is warranted. It does take me forever to figure out what I want, and it does take me forever to finally commit.
The major problem now is that I don't know how to express my emotions to girls. I am a super shy guy, so if a girl ever flirts with me, mostly all we do is flirt, and by the time I've worked up my courage, she has already moved on to some football player. Or, we hit it off, and we get super physical super fast, and that ends up destroying our relationship.
I know that I am a rational agent, and I shouldn't blame other people for my problems - but goddamn my parents for fucking me up. Goddamn ******* for showing me what the perfect family life is. And goddamn ******* for showing me what love is and then taking it away from me.

And when I am in this mood, I listen to

"The Dream is Dead" by Type O Negative

Champagne glass of blood and wine
On chocolate hearts alone I dine
Candles weeping waxing tears
Ten for roses each one a year - disappear

Arrows fester in my heart
Each memory another dart
Love and death both colored red
Showing my past, the dream is dead

Another lonely Valentine's Day
I can't believe that things turned out this way
And though I hate to see you go
I know it must be so
Another lonely Valentine's Day

Nobody will break your fall
All for none, yeah, none for all
Nothing's so cruel as the truth
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