Music blog

So, I'm currently listening to a couple tracks off of Paradise Lost's forthcoming album "Faith Divides Us - Death Unites Us", and I am pretty impressed. Now, I think the title of the album is wholly uninspired, but the title track and the other one on their Myspace page ("As Horizons End") are both totally catchy. Kind of a crunchy gothic metal sound, but not to the point of selling out their metal cred. Can't wait for this album to drop.

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I see myself in you
Our greatest moments
Can't be stolen



Spent the last half week with a good friend/housemate. It was good see him again, to be able to laugh at inside jokes, drink, and have a couple good late night talks. I'm going to miss that kid all semester.
I also got to hangout with some other really cool people this past weekend. Some people were my friends, some I thought were just acquaintances. I went out dancing, and while I was still super self conscious and timid, I had some very nice people with me who taught me some moves.
And today, I think I'm going to hop on my bike and be out all day, seeing who is around. Spending the day with the people who really matter.


Waving smoke out the window
catch my hand against the background of night
Dragging fingertips through constellations

Juxtaposition

Today has been a weird day, theologically speaking.

I finished the book "Life of Pi" by Yann Martel, and then read "The Great Divorce" by CS Lewis.
From a theological standpoint, there could not be two more different books.

In "Life of Pi", Piscine, the title character, becomes a follower of Hinduism, Christianity, and Islam. He follows all three, blending elements of them together, but refusing to strictly follow a single one. In essence, Piscine adopts a kind of universalism view of religion - an "all roads lead to heaven" and that all religions are equal.

In the Preface, Lewis states the major point of the book, "We are not living in a world where all roads are radii of a circle and where all, if followed long enough, will therefore draw gradually nearer and finally meet at the centre."
Lewis argues that choices matter, and being a good person is not enough to get you into heaven. You must be willing to let go of yourself and accept the grace/mercy of God - and Lewis points out that letting go and accepting this gift is quite possibly the most difficult thing in the world for people to understand.

Lewis' conclusion is much harder for people to accept than Martel's. Martel gives a world where just devotion to the idea of God under the guise of any religion is enough. That trying to be spiritual is all you need in order to please God. To me, this ends up being ultimately a prideful and self-centered view - in essence, it allows a person to decide what/who God is. But it much easier to do that than to let go of yourself and give yourself up to God's grace/mercy.


And if I didn't have You as my guide, I'd still wander lost in Sinai
So I'll go ask Your forgiveness with every breath,

"Carousals" - mewithoutYou

I have a plan...

...to reclaim my youth/my life, to pull myself out of my depressive slump, to put an end to my apathy, to reach my full potential, to stop living a lie.

It involves you - my friends.
It involves getting outside.
It involves cameras.
It involves living simply.
It involves living in a way that would make our 6 year old selves proud.

Let's wake up the sleepers.

Politics(bleh) - thoughts on Gay Marriage

I used to be super political whilst growing up. And yes, a lot of my views were probably just the views of my parents/school/upbringing, but now I am becoming increasingly cynical/apathetic towards the political scene (another post in and of itself).

But all I can say is...I think it is totally crazy that people stand against gay marriage in this day and age. I mean, I can understand people opposing gay marriage from a religious standpoint...but from a legal/constitutional standpoint, there just seems to be about zero ground on which a person can base an argument.


I guess this entire post kind of stems from the song "Non-Dairy Creamer" by Third Eye Blind

"And two gay guys got married
And brought the family to its knees
How did they blow us to smithereens
Just a couple of queens
How did they do it
I'll tell you now
They brought marriage to an end
And I've found myself some culprits

It's two young gay... REPUBLICANS!!!"


I mean...as if a couple of gay people (who make up less than 5% of the US population) could bring marriage to its knees. That is a major point I hear when people oppose gay marriage - it will destroy the sanctity of marriage. I'm sorry, but the sanctity of marriage has been dead and gone for a long time now. Last I saw (years ago), 50% of marriages end in divorce. A more recent statistic claims that fewer people are getting married, just living together - as such, it is impossible to track how long those relationships last.

I mean, I guess, my point here is - this is America in the 21st century...and we are still freaking about about people's sexual orientation? I mean, people are basically having heart attacks because of the fact that guys like other guys?! Maybe I'm just way too accepting, or maybe it is just because I've known a lot of gay people over the years....but I mean, at the end of the day - is this the issue about which people want to dig trenches? Shouldn't we be trying to focus on more pressing issues like all the poor/starving/homeless/dying/unloved people amongst us?

Metallica

Metallica is pretty sweet. Don't let anyone tell you any differently.

Also, I'm heading back to Wisconsin in a day or two to hangout. Hooray for that!

Neurosis strikes again

Wow, I fail. If you start getting mild panic attacks when thinking about the girl you really like/when thinking about telling her you like her...then you know you have issues.
Much as I love talking to people and can make people feel accepted and put on a faux-arrogant bravado...I get insanely nervous and panicky around people who I am really interested in.
But maybe that isn't noticeable to other people?

Also, I tend to over analyze everything. For instance - am I posting too much on her facebook? Am I texting too much? Am I coming across as needy? Am I not showing her how much I care as much as I could be? AmIsittingtooclosetoher? amicomingacrossascreepyanddesperate? amithatguy?!

I think this is why I've been single for all of college...I get super neurotic about relationships and worry about everything.



But all of this is inconsequential because I will probably never say anything unless I am 99% sure a girl likes me back. And right now, I'm hovering around 60%. I'm not sure if she likes me or if she views me as a mentally-challenged older brother.


Also, curse the fact that I know this entire post sounds like some neurotic 14 year old girl's ranting. FML!!!