I'm a bit of a manic when it's not as I plan it
'Cause I start losing my head and then I get up in a panic
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Saturday, October 3, 2009
The best worst influence you'll ever meet.
I have a good friend of mine (not a buddy, not an acquaintance, but a genuine friend) who once told me, "Paul, I love you because you make me a worse person." When I finally pressed him about what that meant he said, "You keep me grounded." There was one day when he had a rough night and got back at about 8am. I was drinking wine and finishing a paper. He came in, and said, "Is that alcohol?" I nodded. He walked up to me, grabbed the bottle, and took a long hard swig. I asked, "Hard night?" He simply nodded. We spent the next hour drinking wine and swapping stories. Finally, I went to Calvin, and he skipped class and went to bed.
The thing is though, that in his own words, I convinced him to "drink in the morning - a conventionally bad decision", but one that taught him to realize it is his life, a life he has to live for himself, and find peace for himself.
I may be a wino-existential mess, but I try to keep things real. I try not to hide my faults. I try to see the good in people. To give them the best advice I can. To urge them on toward their dreams. To urge them not to accept mediocrity. Take a risk.
When you grow old, what will you regret. The risk you took or the risk you didn't take?
The thing is though, that in his own words, I convinced him to "drink in the morning - a conventionally bad decision", but one that taught him to realize it is his life, a life he has to live for himself, and find peace for himself.
I may be a wino-existential mess, but I try to keep things real. I try not to hide my faults. I try to see the good in people. To give them the best advice I can. To urge them on toward their dreams. To urge them not to accept mediocrity. Take a risk.
When you grow old, what will you regret. The risk you took or the risk you didn't take?
Friday, October 2, 2009
Innocence reclaimed
I'm listening to the debut album from the musician Lights - "The Listening", and it is beautiful. Synthpoppy goodness. But the lyrics of the song "Pretend" really speak to me. It is about the loss/reclamation of that childlike innocence we all once had, but lost the older we got.
Remember the times
We had soda for wine
And got by on gratitude
The worst they could do to you
Was check your attitude
Yeah, when fights were for fun
We had water for guns
And a place we could call our own
How we lost hold of that
I guess I'll never know
It would be nice to start over again
Before we burn out
I'd give my breath
Let's play pretend
Remember the times
We had soda for wine
And got by on gratitude
The worst they could do to you
Was check your attitude
Yeah, when fights were for fun
We had water for guns
And a place we could call our own
How we lost hold of that
I guess I'll never know
It would be nice to start over again
Before we burn out
I'd give my breath
Let's play pretend
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Bring me the Disco King
Somedays, you just have to skip class in order to ponder...what is the point of it all? This academic rat race. This sick slow decay. This stifling of your personal creativity. The fact that college/classes condition you to think a particular way. College has done a lot of good for me, but at the same time...what has it killed inside of me?
The Galilean Satellites
So, one of my favorite albums is "The Galilean Satellites" by Rosetta. It is a beautiful album, with one half being all heavy post-metal, and the other half being atmospheric ambiance. A contrast of night and day. Light and dark.
But what is really important is the story this album tells. It is about a man who becomes dissatisfied with the world around him, so he leaves for a place of solitude. When he arrives at that place, he realizes that he left everything meaningful to him behind and that he is ultimately empty.
Now, I like this theme because I often feel like the unnamed man in this story. There are plenty of times in my life that I just seclude myself from the world around me. Shut out my friends. Hole up in my room. Stare at a screen. But deep down, I always know how empty I feel when I do that. Life is about relationships. In the words of my favorite poet - No man is an island.
I just felt I needed to say that.
how long I’ve been away from your home,
how long – I’ve drifted away - I’ve drifted away
I miss them all,
the halves of me.
I’m wondering...
But what is really important is the story this album tells. It is about a man who becomes dissatisfied with the world around him, so he leaves for a place of solitude. When he arrives at that place, he realizes that he left everything meaningful to him behind and that he is ultimately empty.
Now, I like this theme because I often feel like the unnamed man in this story. There are plenty of times in my life that I just seclude myself from the world around me. Shut out my friends. Hole up in my room. Stare at a screen. But deep down, I always know how empty I feel when I do that. Life is about relationships. In the words of my favorite poet - No man is an island.
I just felt I needed to say that.
how long I’ve been away from your home,
how long – I’ve drifted away - I’ve drifted away
I miss them all,
the halves of me.
I’m wondering...
(dis)Connect
I was thinking today about how disconnected we all are now. In a lot of ways, technology allows for anyone to connect with anyone. My housemate is in China, and I saw his face this weekend. We email regularly. I click a button, and 5 seconds later, a letter is transferred to the other side of the world. Connected.
But at the same time, in person, everyone is so cold and detached. Walking along the path at Calvin today, I'd wager that at least 50% of the people were plugged into their iPod. Texting on their Blackberry. Avoiding the eyes of others. Disconnected.
Is this the kind of life we should be leading?
But at the same time, in person, everyone is so cold and detached. Walking along the path at Calvin today, I'd wager that at least 50% of the people were plugged into their iPod. Texting on their Blackberry. Avoiding the eyes of others. Disconnected.
Is this the kind of life we should be leading?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
