Don't drop your arms

I'm listening to Anberlin right now, remembering the days of yesterday. Time spent at Copper Rock, Bdubs, Barnes and Noble, and it goes on.

I often wonder if I should be more upfront about other people's faults. I am more than ready to admit my own faults and shortcomings, but I rarely, if ever, tell other people what I think their faults are. And although I admit all the wrong things I have done and work on changing them, the relationship as a whole never changes. Is it because I try and the other person doesn't? Or is it because I like to believe that I am changing when I am not?



My mask is growing heavy but I've forgotten who's beneath

Homesick

I've been listening to the Rosetta version of The Cure's "Homesick" all day. 1.) I love "Homesick" to begin with. 2.) I don't know if I have ever heard a better cover version.

Oh just one more
And I'll walk away
All the everything you win
Turns to nothing today
So just one more
Just one more go
Inspire in me the desire in me
To never go home
(I'M NEVER GOING HOME!!!)

The Dream

I have lived the dream today.

I biked to school, ran into roommate Al before class, walked around with him in the glorious weather.
Found out that I did better on my Philosophy exam than I expected. Extra points retroactively applied to my first exam because I did better on this one.
Cleaned my room up a bit, danced to Lady GaGa.
Went out to a late lunch with roommate Al to an old person restaurant, had a delicious burger.

Currently, I am drinking cheap wine and listening to Kill Hannah.

Manic Depressive!

Hooray for my erratic mood swings! Woohoo to wanting to stay in bed all day when it is a gorgeous day outside. And for not doing easy assignments. And for failing Philosophy exams! And for being a general fuck up.
Nothing left to do but to wait for Night to fall. Bodom concert tonight with the Gremlin. Should be good times, especially since he is driving.
Until then, Sentenced and rum/cokes

Is life over, this life's over?
Or has it only just begun?
It grows colder, starts to moulder...
Coming apart yet still not done
Forever one

School

So...I realize, I just don't care too much about school anymore. A lot of it just does not interest me. I really just want to get by and graduate and move on. I really would like to invest my time in things that interest me, and right now...none of my classes in school are really giving me that.
I did, however, go to my sister's school today and help her out with a project. I recorded 5 pages of material from Dante's "Inferno" for a project she is doing. And I was excited to do that. So excited that I will be going back next Tuesday just to hear what she has finished so far and give her my input.

I guess, all I really want to do is live a life like Hemingway. Be an expat somewhere, drink a lot, write a lot, and live the dream with some friends.
Hopefully, I will make that a reality.

I wish I could start a doom metal band

If I could start any kind of band, it would obviously be a doom or doom/death band.
We would be called:
Grey Winter Mourning

our debut album would be called

"The Great Tomb of Man"

song titles would include
"Earthly Sepulchre"
"Quiet Slumber of the Hallowed Dead"
"Ashen Skies of Dawn"
"All the Woe of the Universe"
"The Malebolge"

Dance Music

So, I am currently downloading dance music before going to the gym. I really like modern dance music because all they sing about is doing drugs, having lots of sex, and partying all the time. The Hollywood party lifestyle. A part of me wishes I had enough money/was depraved enough to live like that, at least for a little while. Most of the bands sound pretty similar/are super generic, but sometimes all you want to do is move.
I really wish I could go back in time to the day before I left for Hungary, when I saw The White Tie Affair / Innerpartysystem / The Medic Droid / Kill Hannah, because that show was all about dance music.

Fer sure maybe fer sure not
Fer sure eh fer sure bomb
Pulled up at a stop light did drugs on the dashboard
Look at the mess we made tonight

Kick off your stilettos
Kick off your stilettos
And fuck me in the backseat
Fuck me in the backseat