We live as fast as we can

If we all should die tonight
We will have no regrets

If this night should take my life
(We cant go back we cant go)

What to write.? Other than, I listen to this song, and I want to write a semi-autobiographical novel based on my life. On all the paths I didn't take. Starting when I was 19 and I danced with a girl at the Kill Hannah winterhometown concert and never talked to her. What if I had? What if we had a tragic love affair?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tmgq3CUIhVY

She had stars drawn around her eyes. She was young, insecure, and shy. We moved together. And it was beautiful. As Kill Hannah sang "New Heart for Xmas" and the snow fell around us, we moved as one. Stars in eyes.

This blog has almost exclusively become the deep rooted relationship I have with music. How music can stir up such strong emotions with me (you, us, anyone?).

Sometimes, I have a hard time expressing how I feel. Maybe that is why I have such an affinity for bands whose songs are such sprawling, vast, and far flung works. (but that is most likely the English Major in me reading far too much into things)

But sometimes, what you need to say (what you feel, think, want to scream out) can only be expressed in restraint. In building. In the empty spaces.

Sometimes it is what you don't say that reveals who you really are.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBmBDc3TVcY

This music video of supreme simplicity, both in visual and audio...yet it evokes so much. The tension, the building. The vastness. I feel like I could scream, and the song would swallow the sound up (that I could scream at any point in the song and it would fit).

And that is how I feel. Vast, empty, full of tension, restraint, terror, sprawling, and on and on...

We live as fast as we can

Do you know who you are? Really, deep down? Because I sure as hell don't. I could write more...but I won't.



Do what you do and you say what you say
You can wear what you want
But we still look the same

Do you even know who you are?
Do you even know who you are?
Do you really know who you are?

A Modern Day Augustine

It is interesting (funny, humourous, sad, overwhelming?) to think about people from the past who we now venerate and esteem. St. Augustine was once a man, not a literary, religious figure. He lived. He wrote down his experiences, and due to happenstance (God, fate, design), those experiences were preserved and now we hold him as an exemplar of Christianity. He shows us the path from darkness to light.

A modern day Augustine would have no idea of his importance. He would simply write and live his life as best he thought. He only becomes St. Augustine centuries later, when history reclaims his words and deems them worthy of remembering. Until then, he is just Augustine. If his words are deemed not noteworthy enough for the modern age and he is relegated to the forgotten depths of history...his life is no less important, just less remembered by a different age. Augustine still lived, he still loved, he still tried, he still had impact, even if future generations didn't deem him worthy to remember.

The voice that speaks these words
Gives them wings to fly
(Where they fly one will never know
Though one can hope)