digital photography

Thank god for photographs. A moment captured in time. Sometimes, all you need is a glimpse and the memories flood back, unconstrained, uncontrolled.
Man night, good people good music good food good fun.
Croatia, bike riding on the perfect day.
Polandslovakia, vibrant autumn beauty rain wet cold weather is a fickle friend.

Or, I often think about my last night in Hungary. I went out to the Kristmasmarkt and had a couple of hot, mulled wines. Then, I walked from the Markt back to our rooms, alone. An hour or two at least. Coat unbuttoned, wine in hand, lingering on bridges to watch the water at night, the lights of the city, to breathe it in. Rosetta's album "Wake/Lift" blasting in my ear, perfect companion for so vast a night, so vague of feelings. The winter air crisp and cleansing. Release, revolve, Renew.

My how the time flies.

When I looked down like if to pray,
Well, I was looking down her dress... good God!

(ah, but I don't need this!
I don't need this!)

I found light that lead me to the shrine where children sang and pilgrims mourned.
I was lost but not alone.

I am the luckiest

I have the best of all possible ladyfriends.
She not only prints off my resume/cover-letter, but proofreads them and finds some glaring mistakes I made and corrects them for me. And, she drops them off at my house on the way to her work.
I could talk forever about how awesome she is, but I don't think I will. Because whenever I do, I grin like an idiot and get happy like a kid on christmas (And that is why we'll always make it)

Good news everyone!

Twitter stalking has lead me to believe that Matthew Leone, the bass player of Madina Lake, is now healthy/out of the hospital.
For those of you unaware with what this means, it is great news. Back in July (I believe), Leone stepped in to stop a man who was beating his wife. He tried to diffuse the situation and make sure everyone was calmed down, but when he was checking on the woman, the man came up behind him and attack him, splitting open his skull and putting him in the ICU.
Being from a band, Leone did not have insurance and so had to pay his medical expenses out of pocket. Thankfully, fans, bands Madina Lake had previously toured with, and other people touched by the story poured in their money to help him.
And that generosity has apparently paid off.

There is good in the world.

I've always been a terrible son, I've always doubted, I've always retained too much of "me".

The Son of the widow
You raised from the dead...
Where did His soul go
When He died again?

About...

Sometimes, I get frustrated with where I am in my life. And at times I felt like this.

Well, I'll go to college and I'll learn some big words
And I'll talk real loud, goddamn right I'll be heard
You'll remember the guy who said all those big words
He must have learned in college

But at a certain point, you wake up, and it isn't about the big words you learned while you got your fancy degree at a Liberal Arts college. It's about how you feel when your ladyfriend falls asleep on the couch while she holds onto you, and you smile because she is still so damn cute even though she is totally sick and still in her work clothes. And you hold her close and think, "I am not my job. I am not how much money I make. I am not societal status.
I am how I treat others. I am how kind I am. I am how much I love."

And I love and care rather deeply. About certain housemates. About certain orphans. About certain people who are abroad. About certain people who are in this country. About certain people who spend time with me in a hammock. About certain people in certain times in certain place. About...

...And if a year from now, everyone has moved on to new places, new friends, new moments, I will always look back and say, "At that moment, at that time, I loved those people as much as I could, and if we never talk to each other again, at that moment, we were connected beyond measure through our love and caring for one another.

How cold is the flame of our uncompromising future?

I went to a bar that was located on the 27th floor of the Amway Grand tonight. The view was great. The drinks were great. The friends were great.
Two of their house drinks, then a gintonicabsinthe.

Then I got home, but slippy fingers broke a bottle of (cheapcheap) vodka. Damn them.

I have found out two things today.
1. I kissed my beautiful ladyfriend several months before I remember kissing her.
2. I have a cut on my knuckle that I cannot account for.